A Wake-Up Call

One of my all-time favorite movies is Clueless. Say what you want about it, but everything about it makes me laugh. My best friend gave me that movie for my birthday shortly after it came out years ago, and I probably know all of the words by heart. When I heard Sunday that Brittany Murphy, the actress who played Tai in this movie, was found unconscious and died of cardiac arrest, I could not believe it. She was only 32 years old- so tragic.

There is a lot of speculation surrounding her death- she has been plagued with rumors of drug use, as well as an eating disorder. At this point, it is all speculation, but what is clear is that the most recent pictures published of her show her looking extremely emaciated. I was not planning on blogging about her, but I have had quite a few conversations about her death in the last two days with my clients that have really been making me think. A lot of the girls and women that I work with have eating disorders, and Brittany Murphy's death has possibly serious implications for those with anorexia, and eating disorders. As I mentioned before, no one really knows what caused her death. But what statistics tell us is that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. In fact, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), females between the ages of 15 and 24 who suffer from anorexia nervosa experience a death rate that is 12 times higher than the death rate of all other causes of death. Just to be clear, this statistic only applies to those suffering with anorexia-- this does not mean that the leading cause of death among females who are between 15 and 24 is anorexia.

This week as I have heard clients question and ponder what ultimately killed Brittany Murphy (investigators said it was 'natural causes' but what is natural about dying at 32?), I have been struck by something else. Regardless of which self-destructive behavior (eating disorder, drugs, etc) may have contributed to her death, I think there is an important lesson that can be learned from this whole situation. It appears that Brittany's friends and fellow actors were not as shocked to hear about her death as the rest of us- apparently, she had been exhibiting erratic behavior as of late, and they were all very concerned about her shrinking frame. I think her death is a wake-up call. No matter what ultimately caused her death, her tragic exit from this world demonstrates that we are fragile. So many people with eating disorders think that they are immune from the dire health consequences that result from eating disorders, especially death; likewise, often those with drug dependencies and addictions often think that nothing bad will happen to them as a result of their drug use, including death. But death can happen and it does happen. And it is so important to take mental illness and self-destructive behaviors seriously! If you know someone who is practicing self-destructive habits, or is engaging in harmful behaviors, or you yourself are engaging in these behaviors, please seek help. This is such a serious issue. Hopefully Brittany Murphy's death will not be in vain- and will serve as a warning for others who are walking this fine line of danger.

If you or someone that you know is interested in finding out about receiving help to deal with an eating disorder, follow this link. To find out more about receiving help for a drug related issue, click here.

GoodSearch: Raise Money for Eating Disorder Non-Profits With a Click of Your Mouse

An acquaintance of mine who works at a non-profit organization recently pointed out something amazing to me- GoodSearch. It is a search engine powered by Yahoo that can be used to search for anything online. What makes this search engine unique is that you can select a non-profit organization of your choice each time that you perform a search and money is donated to that non-profit! Each time you perform a search! Pretty incredible! The only minor catch is that GoodSearch has a pre-approved list of non-profits (86,389 to be exact) from which you can choose, which means your particular cause may not be listed; however, if you have a non-profit that you wish to add, you can submit it for approval. It might sound a little too easy... perform a search online, raise money! But it's not! :) A portion of the money that is generated from advertising is sent to the non-profit that you have selected. GoodSearch's mission is to help people support their favorite causes, charities and/or non-profits by doing a simple, everyday task.

If you would like to raise money to fund eating disorder research, or to support eating disorder/body image non-profit organizations, here are some of the non-profits already approved:

• National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders (ANAD)
• National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
• National Association for Males with Eating Disorders (NAMED)
• The Body Positive
• The Joy Project (MN)

To read more about this site, click HERE. And to use the search engine, follow THIS LINK.

You'd Be So Pretty If....

The title of this blog post sounds a little terrible, right? I actually ripped off the title from the name of a book that I recently came across!! And for the record, the book is anything but terrible :). Dara Chadwick has written a book called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own, and she also writes a blog with the same title. She recently posted a few tips for modeling positive body image that I want to share because I think they are great. I would also like to point out that even if you are not a mother, or you are a mother and do not have daughters, this information is still really applicable. We may not have daughters (who are therefore influenced by the views we have of our own bodies), but we certainly impact the people in our lives (especially and specifically other women) based on the ways that we see ourselves. It is interesting to consider how learning to accept ourselves can actually help others to accept themselves as well.

So, while this may sound easier in theory than in practice (like a LOT of things!), here are five things that you can try (compliments of Dara Chadwick), that no matter how you feel about your body, may help you learn self-acceptance, as well as model it to others!

1: Silence the Critic. If you tend to say negative things about your body, criticize certain features you dislike or are not comfortable with, or make jokes about yourself, stop. Whenever you notice that you are doing this, stop yourself.

2: Act "as if." Imagine how you might feel or act differently if you were your ideal size or shape. Would you participate in different activities? Say hello to more people? Buy a certain style of clothing? If so, act out your feelings or engage in those activities and see if you notice a change in how you feel or how others respond to you. (Hint- you most likely will!)

3: Choose one thing. Focus on making one healthy choice each day- whether it is eating your breakfast, taking the stairs up one floor instead of the elevator, etc..

4: Be OK with change. Focus on being the healthiest, most content version of yourself that you can be. We all change as we get older, and as we go through different life experiences, our bodies change. Appreciating what our bodies do for us, considering the purposes that our arms/legs/hips/etc serve, and recognizing how functional they are can help us to accept our bodies/body parts rather than criticize them.

5: Find your own body image role models. Find women who model a healthy, positive attitude that you admire and respect. Maybe it's Scarlett Johansson, Kate Winslet, a friend who exudes confidence and charm, or a friend whose personal style you admire. By holding up a role model of unattainable perfection, we struggle to accept ourselves because we are never able to reach this ideal.

While change is often tough because it requires extra effort, energy, and a lot of extra thought, I believe it is worth it. It is worth it for us to accept ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, and to encourage other women (friends, sisters, daughters) to accept themselves as well. For more on Dara Chadwick, follow this link.

The Body Image Project

Body image has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like no matter where I go, who I talk to, what I'm watching on TV or reading, it seems that I have been encountering a barrage of fat talk and concern over weight and bodies. Yes, I may be more aware and sensitive to such topics than the average person, as I do therapy with many women who have eating disorders. But my observations about body image lately are those that go well beyond my work. I have felt the intensity of the media's powerful communication of messages through images (and otherwise) and have really been at a loss. It seems that our culture is so saturated with the value of beauty = skinnyness, and it is difficult to avoid unless you hunker down and go live in a cave! How did we get here? That question has been occupying a lot of space in my thoughts recently.

Let me be the first to say that we ALL struggle with body image- no one is immune from waking up, putting on a pair of jeans and sometimes just not feeling great! It happens to all of us. But when our feelings about our bodies, and our looks, determine how we truly feel about ourselves and our worth, or they influence our moods and the course of our days, this is troubling territory that we enter into. Body image and weight are idols in our culture and in order not to be ruled by these idols, we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12!).

In my flurry of thoughts lately about body image, I have gotten stuck wondering why things are the way they are. That is probably a topic for another post :), but I decided that maybe a more productive question to ask is where we go from here. Certainly determining a course of action requires considering the previous path, but I wanted to shift the focus towards action. I have struggled and tried to brainstorm ways to begin to change the current tide- all well beyond my capabilities at this point. Sometimes the degree and depth of change that needs to happen feels so overwhelming, especially when approaching this issue from a big picture perspective! What I realized when I stepped back a little bit is that small changes can facilitate larger changes, and starting out small is important! I came across a great website this week: The Body Image Project. The goal of this organization is to "reframe body image and enable everyone, everywhere, to discover and celebrate the real you." It may sound a little cheesy.. But the momentum behind this movement speaks to the very nature of the issues I have raised. Small changes often help to facilitate larger changes, and reaching one person at a time is often how collective change ultimately happens. If we can each focus on working towards discovering and celebrating ourselves, as opposed to comparing ourselves to others, then perhaps this is a good place to start.

The Body Image Project can be accessed online by following this link. I would encourage you to take a look at some of the videos that they feature (access them here). Men and women have courageously shared their own body image tales to inspire and encourage you on your own journey to embracing you. The videos are definitely worth watching, and they add new ones each month. Below is a video that The Body Image Project has created that I encourage you all to watch as well- you can click on the Look at You//The Body Image Project to watch. Change begins with one person inspiring another, and that person inspiring another. If anything, maybe these videos or stories will inspire you to begin loving yourself or will inspire you to share this site with someone else who may benefit.

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.

Popsicles and PreSchoolers

The other day, I witnessed a pretty funny thing. I was at the gym, and I noticed two girls who looked to be about 6 years old. They were fully dressed in cute, girlie school clothes, walking on treadmills. Oh- and they were eating popsicles. Seeing this made me laugh at first- but then my rational side kicked in and I wondered how in the world they got there and I wanted to know where in the world their parents were! I watched them as they walked side by side, and panicked when they began walking on the same treadmill together; they migrated from machine to machine and even attempted to lift weights! To conclude their workout, they took some medicine balls and began trying to do crunches- but stopped and began trying to jump over them as though they were playing leap frog (all while each eating a popsicle). At first I just thought that they were cute, but the longer I watched them I started feeling a little weird about it. It was clear that they were intent on exercising, even though they were spending two minutes on one machine, then hopping onto another, then another. I guess it was their determination that seemed funny- they must have gotten some kind of message about exercise that led them to want to participate. Whether messages from family, culture or the media (or a combination of all three!), it is likely that multiple sources influenced (and continue to influence) these girls. In many ways, an act like theirs is child-like and innocent- similar to a little girl mimicking her mother by playing dress-up or putting on makeup. But in light of something that I read a day or so after encountering these popsicle-eating girls working out, I have started to wonder just how innocent the whole thing really was.

According to a recent study, nearly half of all 3 to 6 year olds worry about being fat (!!!). A study done at the University of Central Florida revealed that 31 percent of the girls surveyed almost always worry about being fat, while 18 percent sometimes worry about being fat. What we know about body image and young girls is that when young girls have poor body image and worry about their weight, they are much more likely to suffer from an eating disorder. The researchers in this study believe that TV is one of the strongest influences on a young girl's body image, as the media portrays a standard of beauty which often breeds conformity to this standard. I also think that another very strong influence is a girl's mother. If a young girl sees her mother obsessing over food, her weight or exercise, she will certainly pick up on this and will likely follow suit. Or, if a mother has poor body image, a daughter might adopt some of the same ways of viewing her own body. This is not to say that when a girl develops an eating disorder or has poor body image that her mother is to blame; however, it is important to recognize the impact that your own body image can have on your daughter's. Children are smart- never underestimate the power of modeling healthy choices and healthy self-esteem!

So what to do??? Here are a few ideas: Discuss perceptions of beauty- what is realistic and healthy, and what is not. Initiate discussions about the way that the media alters images via photoshop and other methods while you are watching TV or viewing other media together. Affirm qualities and skills that you see in your daughter/friend/sister, rather than focusing on appearance. A great resource that I have mentioned before is Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. Follow this link to read more about what Dove is doing to help build self-esteem and positive body image in young girls. To view their website and to access tools and online workshops, follow this link.