Actions Speak Louder Than Words

While I was browsing People.com for my daily dose of celebrity gossip this morning, I happened to see that Jennifer Love Hewitt was featured alongside a big headline that read, "Jennifer Love Hewitt Advises Girls to 'Love the Way You Look.' Coincidentally, she was pictured in a white bikini, showing off her body that has significantly shrunk in recent days/months/years. Does anyone remember when she was photographed back in 2007 in a bikini and was publicly ridiculed for the way that she looked in the pictures?? She was raked over the coals for the shape of her body, and I remember reading about how she started dieting and working out to lose some of the weight after that happened. Here is a brief excerpt from an article written shortly after that time:

Late last year (2007) the blogosphere got pretty mean about actress Jennifer Love Hewitt looking a little heavier than normal. At the time she said she was a size 2 and that she wasn’t fat, but she mostly worried about how the attention would affect image-conscious girls who saw the media calling her fat. While she says the two aren’t connected, she’s lost 18 pounds in the last four months with the help of trainer Stevie Sant’Angelo.

Hmmm. It seems odd to me that those two things were not connected. But either way, I find it all the more ironic that she is doling out such advice to young women to love the way their bodies look, since her way of loving her body was to change hers! Jennifer Love Hypocrite?

While I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pressure a female in Hollywood must face to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty, I also do not think that this justifies hypocrisy. If she loved what she looked like so much, why did she feel the need to change? She is sending such an unfortunate message to young women because while she is saying, "When I meet young girls, I'm always like, 'Just do me one favor, love what you look like right now – and remember I said it 10 years from now because it's the greatest gift I can give", her actions are telling a very different story. This quote was taken from the People.com article, which you can read by following this link. A few lines down, she says that she was so embarrassed by the pictures of her body taken in 2007 that she gave up eating 'her beloved donuts' and started fitting in workouts to her schedule so that she could 'get healthier.'

I am all for being healthy. Trust me. But it just seems like she is sending a very mixed message! And I think we are all too often inundated with mixed messages from the media, to the point that we fail to see things as they really are. It's helpful to expose mixed messages when we see them, and I would encourage you all to be mindful of what you see and hear! When it comes to the media, what you see is not what you get.

I guess I just feel bad for Jennifer Love Hewitt because I feel like she is really the one who is losing here. You never win when you have to change your outer appearance in order to love yourself and be happy. Yes, sometimes we do have to make changes so that we can become more healthy, but happiness and love are not dependent on or defined by how we look in a bikini, or how good we look in pictures. Happiness, love and beauty really do come from the inside out- not by losing 18 pounds in 4 months.

Some of you may have heard about the t- shirt that Urban Outfitters recently pulled from their online catalogue after much hate mail was received. The shirt said 'Eat Less' and was featured on a waif-y model. It is hard to believe that they actually went there! But they did, and while it may have been to generate some publicity (tacky, much?), enough people protested that they thankfully took it off of their website. I also heard that the shirt has been pulled from stores--so hopefully that is true!

A couple of my therapist friends who I got to know while doing some contract work at the Carolina House brought an awesome article to my attention that I just have to share. Below is this article that was published in Durham's Independent Weekly newspaper and written by Rebekah L. Cowell (follow this link to see the article) about some local women who are in recovery and working towards exposing myths about eating disorders that this t-shirt's message was perpetuating.

Amy Lambert used to tell herself what Urban Outfitters is telling millions of other young women: Eat Less.

It wasn't unusual for Lambert, who had an eating disorder for more than eight years, to consume little more than one container of yogurt in a day. Now recovering, Lambert led a protest last week outside of Urban Outfitters at Southpoint mall in Durham.

Last week, Urban Outfitters placed in their online catalogue a gray V-neck T-shirt worn by a rail-like young woman. On the front, in script, the words "Eat Less."

"Urban Outfitters targets a young demographic, and they are reinforcing the idea that eating disorders are a choice, not an illness," she said.

Four other women from a Durham Eating Disorder Support Group joined the peaceful protest, brandishing signs that read, "Messages Can Re-Enforce Deadly Beliefs" and distributing fliers titled "Messages in Media: 'Eat Less' is Humor That's Not Funny."

Mall security shut down the protest 30 minutes later.

"We want to make it a friendly family environment," said Public Safety Officer Sellers, who refused to disclose her first name. "We can't just have people here doing that [protesting and handing out literature]."

Urban Outfitters did not return the Indy's calls or e-mails regarding the ad campaign, but after national outcry the T-shirt was removed from the chain's website, though the shirts that have already been shipped will be in stores. When the Indy visited the store and asked for the T-shirt, it was not on the sales floor. An employee who didn't want to be named called the slogan "harsh."

At least 24 million Americans suffer from eating disorders, which have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Twenty percent of people with an eating disorder will die prematurely from complications related to their disease. Telling an individual with an eating disorder to "eat less" aggravates emotional, psychological and physical issues. And for those still stuck in dangerous patterns, it is a message of validation, says Chase Bannister, clinical director for Carolina House.

In fact, the T-shirt has been posted on "pro-anorexia" sites as a source of "thinspiration."

"The banner-statement 'Eat Less' can be a stinging trigger for women and men with anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorder," Bannister added, "ultimately providing reinforcement for the distorted belief our patients work so hard to stamp out: 'I will never be okay unless I'm thin.'

The women said by holding the protest, they sought to empower themselves and spread a message of acceptance for a healthy body. Sandy Yarnall had anorexia for more than half of her life. She finally received treatment in 2008. "I struggle every day with wanting to go back to a very unhealthy size, and where I was before recovery, and seeing that message did distress me."

Rebecca Clemins has had an eating disorder for 25 years. "Urban Outfitters put this tee on a waif-like model, which enforces the idea that being waif-like is preferred, and they are encouraging a lifestyle that is killing young women," she said.

"I can't imagine endorsing something that creates so much misery," said Carson Hadley, who developed her eating disorder in eighth grade. She had to drop out of high school during her senior year to get in-patient treatment at Carolina House. "That shirt reminded of what I can't be if I want to live."

I am so proud of the women who participated in this protest, shared their stories, fought to raise awareness and exposed myths about eating disorders. This can certainly be an inspiring act for those with eating disorders who are working towards health to see- that not only is recovery very possible, but that it can also be empowering to take a stand and work towards educating people about the truth about eating disorders.

Anyone Need a Body Image Boost??

While the first official day of Summer has not yet arrived (it's June 21st if anyone was wondering!), Memorial Day has come and gone and regardless of where you live, the weather is probably/hopefully starting to get a little warmer. I know that here in Raleigh, NC, the weather has been downright HOT. These 90 degree days filled with humidity have me a little concerned about what August may bring. But at least it's finally pool weather right???

Well, for some women (I would bet most), warmer weather and getting into a bathing suit can trigger anything from a few nerves to a full on panic attack. The obsession with our bodies continues to reach new heights, and sometimes what we need is to step back and get a giant body image boost. Dr. Michael Levine and Dr Linda Smolak, together with NEDA, compiled a list of 10 "will-powers" for improving body image. I have been using this list with some of my clients lately (because I think that it is pretty great), and because I have gotten a lot of feedback on how helpful it has been, I wanted to share a few of them with all of you. My hope is that the following list may help us all to spend more time enjoying the sunshine, the company of friends and family, and the water this summer, rather than focusing on what we perceive to be the flaws and faults in our bodies!

1. I will ask myself, "Am I benefiting from focusing on what I believe are the flaws in my body weight or shape?

2. I will think of 3 reasons why it is ridiculous for me to believe that thinner people are happier or 'better.' I will repeat these reasons to myself whenever I feel the urge to compare my body shape to someone.

3. I will surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities. When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.

4. I will practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel and do. Not for how slender, or 'well put together' they appear.

5. I will list 5-10 good qualities that I have, such as understanding, intelligence, or creativity. I will repeat those to myself whenever I start to feel bad about my body.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

A picture is worth a thousand words- those of which I will not be writing :-) But I did want to post this image of Madonna's face, which is only half photoshopped-because it's a good reminder that what we see in print does not always exist in real life...

On Airbrushing..

Britney Spears has certainly lived out a few ups and downs in the public eye, but over the past year or so, she has remained relatively under the radar. Think what you want of Britney--this isn't an opinion piece on the life and times of Miss Spears; the purpose of bringing her up is to highlight something that she did recently that will hopefully impact many women all over the world.

So what did she do? She shot some photos for Candies, a clothing/shoe brand, as part of their new ad campaign-- and allowed the brand to release the un-airbrushed photos alongside the digitally altered photos so that we could see the differences that exist between these photos. In a society where unrealistic standards of beauty continue to be perpetuated, this act is a breath of fresh air in that it provides women of all ages a very clear example of the way that what we see is not always real! For a culture (ours) that exalts the beauty we see in print ads and pictures in magazines, it is pretty disturbing that most of these images have been doctored and are not representative of reality. I think on some level we may realize this, but seeing it really drives the point home.

Let me just say... Britney looks great in both photos. While the difference in the two pictures is very small, it is important for women to see that even Britney Spears has a little bit of cellulite. Does that keep her from being beautiful? No! Does that keep her from being successful? No way! So then why is it that we are prone to think that a little cellulite can keep us from being good enough? Or beautiful? To view the pictures of Britney before and after, follow this link. Scroll all the way down to see both pictures. I wish I could post them on my blog but I'm too tech-unsaavy to figure out how to do it :-).

Celebrities acknowledging and releasing un-airbrushed photos has become somewhat of a trend lately- Kim Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson and Faith Hill have all spoken out about the way their photos have been altered in print. I think the take away point here is that we have to be discerning about what we see. When we see pictures in magazines (etc), we must remember that what we see is not always what is real. Considering how much value we often attribute to these images and the lengths to which so many of us go to in order to look like these women (and their bodies), ... it is a real wake-up call, since even they do not have these bodies! We might say that our culture has created an unattainable ideal of beauty, but just to be clear, it is actually unattainable! It is manufactured via photoshop! While it is pretty difficult to avoid these images, I would urge you to view media with discerning eyes because what we see is not representative of reality. So next time you are flipping through a magazine, just remember that what you are seeing is more than likely not an accurate representation of women, beauty and bodies.