Bring Change 2 Mind

I just started watching a TV show recently called Modern Family. It is hilarious. I've only seen it a few times, so I'm not sure I can do the premise justice, but it's essentially a sitcom that chronicles different members of an extended family and their interactions. (If you're curious, follow this link to check it out.) Anyways, I really do like it, but last week when I was watching, one of the characters made a joke about eating disorders. It's hard to explain what happened since I don't really know any of the characters names, but one of the children was annoyed with his mother and said- "mom, go tend to your eating disorder or something." I'm not sure if this was supposed to be funny, but after the day I had, I was NOT laughing. An eating disorder is a mental illness, and there's nothing funny about that. I didn't turn off the TV and refuse to watch the rest of the episode, but it just struck me that if you replaced 'eating disorder' with any other mental illness- say, schizophrenia- it probably wouldn't be funny either. So why did someone think making a joke about an eating disorder would be funny? This just reminded me that eating disorders aren't widely viewed as psychiatric illness yet.

I think one of the biggest myths about eating disorders is that they are a lifestyle choice- not a mental illness. Yes, there is choice involved in recovery- you have to choose to take steps to recover. But an eating disorder is a mental illness, so it's not as simple as 'just eating'. Glenn Close, the actress famously known for playing Cruella Deville in 101 Dalmatians (ha ha, just kidding- I think she is famous for her role in Fatal Attraction, which I've never seen-- and some other movies too..), started a non-profit called Bring Change 2 Mind. The mission is to raise awareness about mental illness, to work towards de-stigmatizing it while also providing support for those who deal with mental illness. Close's sister and nephew, who both suffer from different mental illnesses, were the inspiration that fueled her to initiate this endeavor. PsychCentral wrote a little article awhile back in October when it launched - to read it, click HERE.

I'd encourage you to check out her site! I'll be honest- right now, there is a slightly annoying pop-up when you access the site, but that's just because Bring Change 2 Mind recently partnered with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for NAMIWalks Campaign (a walking campaign to raise money for and awareness of mental illness!). The pop-up is a video, and even though it's slightly annoying, it's actually worth watching :) Once you get past the video, the site is great- there are resources for those who want to learn about mental illness or find support if they are struggling with one, there are videos of people sharing their stories, and there is additional information available that serves to encourage real understanding of mental illness! Right now, eating disorders are not part of their featured mental illnesses- they feature depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar, and schizophrenia. However, there are many mental illnesses, eating disorders included, that will hopefully be added as their non-profit grows! At this point, what seems important is that this is an organization that is dedicated to promoting awareness and knowledge about mental illness to de-stigmatize... which is awesome. If you are interested in finding out how you can be involved in any capacity, you can check out the 'be involved' tab on their site!

Life Lessons by Goldilocks

It's a little funny that fairy tales and stories that were read to me as a little girl have been coming to mind lately. I'm not exactly sure what that means (haha), but what I would guess is that these stories come to mind because they actually have some good morals and principles rooted in them (that are not just meant for child-sized ears and lives) and are also relevant to daily happenings.

Today, through a couple of conversations that I had, I was thinking about and reminded of the extremes that we see in our culture when it comes to almost every single arena. Whether it's food, our bodies, and weight, or money, work, love, sex, success, sports, entertainment, etc.. extremes are everywhere. Whether it is an extreme diet, an extreme sport, an extreme behavior (like plastic surgery- Heidi Montag, anyone?), it seems that our culture is not only fixated on extremes but celebrates them. People are applauded and ridiculed based on their ability to conform to extremes. The media gives so much attention to extremes- whether these extremes are weight related or not. We are simultaneously fighting obesity as a nation, as well as a culture that fuels myths about eating disorders as a lifestyle choice. We are constantly made aware of great successes and great failures (which are defined and polarized by the media) and yet we don't necessarily have many positive role models that showcase what it's like to operate in a medium of balance- where both successes and failures are part of life, and where a gray area reigns, instead of the black and white. It seems to me that in a culture of extremes, one of the toughest things to achieve is balance. Outside of appearance and weight, some common questions that deal with balance include the following-- How much time do I spend working, and how much time do I spend playing? How much time should I spend with my family? How much time do I need to invest in cultivating my marriage/relationship? How much exercise is appropriate? How much time do I invest in my spiritual life? The questions can be endless and there is no sure answer for each individual. What I am sure of though is that we probably have a thing or two to learn from Goldilocks (strangely enough).

Goldilocks, for those of you who may need refreshing, broke into a cottage that belonged to three bears (probably not the part to emulate). She ate their porridge, sat in their chairs, and eventually fell asleep in one of their beds. The bears ended up returning home to find her asleep in one of their beds, and she ran out of the house, never to be seen again. Goldilocks is famous (to me, anyways) for the way in which she was a little picky, a little particular. When she tasted the bear's porridge, one bowl was too hot, and one bowl was too cold. But one was just right. The chairs and the beds were the same way-- not hot or cold, but too big, or too small, or too uncomfortable, etc. I guess the reason that she came to my mind today was because I think she is a good example of someone who was mindful of her surroundings and was able to make a decision based on what she felt was right in the moment. She may have been a little picky, but she noticed extremes and decided to operate in the gray area. While all of her options were benign and obviously not comparable to the kinds of things that I mentioned above regarding extremes, I think she is a good example of someone who is being mindful and balanced in her choices. I realize this is a bit of a stretch and may sound simplistic (it is), but I think being able to achieve balance is something that we really struggle with as a culture and as individuals.

This Goldilocks analogy does not apply to eating disorders (remember, EDs are a mental illness), but the analogy applies to the way that we view ourselves, perceptions of beauty, and life in general. So how do we work towards operating in the gray area so that we can live a life of balance? Being mindful, creating and maintaining boundaries, taking care of ourselves just as we take care of others, surrounding ourselves with kind and loving people, living out our values daily, and refuting and challenging irrational and negative thoughts/beliefs. Surely this list is not exhaustive. But I think by aiming to operate in this gray area and by finding a middle ground-- a balance, like Goldilocks did:)-- we might find that we are more content, that we feel better about ourselves, and that we become more accepting of ourselves and others. These are some of the things that give us character and ultimately make us beautiful.

To read about another children's story (the Velveteen Rabbit) and being real, follow this link.

The Price of Beauty

I have to say.. for someone who has undergone SO much public scrutiny, Jessica Simpson appears to have a pretty good head on her shoulders! While I obviously don't know her (and therefore am probably not qualified to make such a statement- ha), I did watch her recent interview with Oprah and I was really impressed by some of the things that she had to say about beauty and the ways that women think about their bodies.

Jessica Simpson went on Oprah to promote her new reality show, The Price of Beauty, that is airing on VH1 (I think it premieres Monday night, March 15th at 10pm) that she was inspired to make after being criticized by the media about her weight and her appearance. I'm sure you all remember (or at least have heard about) the 'mom jeans' incident that occurred this past fall... She was ridiculed for wearing a pair of high-waisted jeans (she described them as her 'mom jeans' haha) and people worldwide were commenting on and writing stories about a photo of her that was taken in this outfit- saying she had gained weight. It was interesting to hear her speak so openly about how this experience impacted her and the degree to which she had to fight to stay strong and confident about her body and her appearance. Her vulnerabilities were real. And to hear someone, who is deemed beautiful in the eyes of the world, share how her self-esteem had severely waivered was sad-- and yet in some ways, relatable for women all across America. It just goes to show that no one is immune to the struggle of body image and self-loathing, and that the media can have a powerful impact on how we feel about ourselves! Simpson shared that she had not spoken openly about the incident until now because she was afraid that by talking about the media calling her fat, she would impress upon other women that they too were fat if they looked anything like her, or happened to be larger than she was (which is most of society!). As she said, and as is true, beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, colors, forms and styles; this was one of the things that motivated her to produce her show.

Simpson's show examines beauty in cultures all over the world. It sounds like traveling and meeting women from different countries was a healing experience for her, and one that she is hoping will be healing for other people as they watch. The way that interacting with women from different cultures and learning about beauty in other countries helped her to gain confidence and a new awareness of the beauty that she had within. Oprah showed a clip from her show (a scene actually where Jessica met with a former French supermodel who was severely anorexic) and Simpson was crying a little bit when the clip ended. Oprah asked her why she was crying, and she said, "It makes me very emotional because the pressure that women feel to be thin or to be beautiful, the pressure that the media puts on women is so unfair and so disgusting, and if i can do something to make it better for people.. that's the reason why I did this show." While the media does not make people anorexic, the media certainly effects the way that we view our bodies and beauty- and it has taken a major toll on too many of our self-esteems and body images!!

Oprah ended the segment by asking her what she had learned about beauty through all of her experiences and how she defines it. Her words? "No one can define it [beauty] but myself. Nobody's words, nobody's compliments, nobody's love. It is all within myself." I think that her message of beauty being within us is an important one. Of course we can have fun with our clothes, our hair, our make-up if we choose to do so, but that is NOT what makes us beautiful- nor is it the size of our jeans, our thighs or our boobs. The things that cannot be seen, the traits and qualities that make us who we are are the things that make us beautiful.

Bruised Body Image??

I came across this picture today and wanted to share it- although unfortunately, I'm having trouble formatting the image so that you can see the entire quote (by Marcia Hutchinson)! Until I can fix it, it says "If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you'd have no friends left." I think it speaks for itself, and I think it speaks volumes. If this quote impacts you, I would encourage you to consider how you might start thinking about your body in a way that might be more kind! Margarita Tartakovsky writes a blog on body image and eating disorders, and she wrote a great post on 'bruised' body image that I want to share with you. While I have posted the majority of it below, I would encourage you to check it out in full here. Not only does she help you to identify if you may be struggling with 'bruised' (or poor) body image, but she also provides some helpful tips for thinking more positively about your body.

Here’s a list of indicators that your image may be suffering more than usual (and ways to fix it below that):

1. You notice only negative things in the mirror, car windows, storefront windows, etc. Instead of seeing your positive physical traits, you’re more likely to be found bashing your body, and nitpicking at every nook and cranny.
2. You have a tough time taking compliments. It isn’t that you’re too polite to take a compliment; it’s that you truly believe you don’t deserve them.
3. You rarely think you look good. Even wearing a favorite outfit doesn’t help you to feel good in your skin. You rarely feel beautiful or even pretty.
4. You compare yourself to everyone. For many of us, comparisons are as natural as breathing. But, while you’re comparing your appearance to everyone else’s, you rarely have anything good to say about yourself. It’s always, “her thighs are so much slimmer than mine.” “Her waist is much smaller.” “I wish I had her body.”
5. It takes you forever to pick out an outfit — more often than not. Do you have a moment — more like many moments — where you’ve been cooped up in your room, trying on tons of clothes? You can’t see your floor, partially because it’s overflowing with clothing and mainly because your face is filled with tears. There’s nothing wrong with your clothes–it’s just that everything is wrong with your body.
6. You skip events because you don’t think you look good enough. How often have you declined an invite to a dinner date, party or other engagement because you felt too fat to leave the house?
7. You criticize your body regularly. “My stomach is gross.” “My thighs are enormous!” Do these phrases resemble your daily mantras?

And the following is a list of some pointers that she gives:

1. Think of the awesome things you can do thanks to your body,whether it’s lifting weights, walking several miles, playing with your child, playing an instrument, riding a bike, helping mom carry groceries, dancing with your significant other, achieving a tough yoga pose or simply wrapping your arms around a loved one.

2. What do you like about yourself, beyond your body? Create a list of your positive qualities and achievements, and if you need extra reminding, put the list on a note card and stash it in your purse.

3. Hang out with positive people, who appreciate and support you, who see beyond appearances to who you really are.

4. View exercise as fulfilling, not punishing. Instead of working out to eliminate calories or fit into some bikini (all things that, unfortunately, many magazines and some so-called experts recommend), choose ways to stay active that you enjoy and that make you feel strong and good about your body. There are tons of options for leading an active lifestyle: walking, hiking, biking, workout DVDs, gym membership, yoga, Pilates, dancing, tennis. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like the latest workout craze. Pick something that resonates with you.

5. Worrying about your weight and body is exhausting and strips you of valuable time. Consider all the good things you miss out on because you’re too busy criticizing yourself. You overlook other opportunities, whether it’s the opportunity to self-reflect (instead of nit-picking at your thighs or waist, focus on being kinder to yourself and others), spend time with loved ones or read a good book.

Happy Monday to everyone and hope you all have a great week!! Think good thoughts about your body and what it can do for you. Be kind to yourselves!

Tanith Belbin: A Story of Hope

I recently wrote about eating disorders in the world of figure skating. (You can read that post by clicking here.) For those of you who did not see that post and don't feel like backtracking and reading it, I will give you the super quick summary. Jenny Kirk, a former competitive figure skater, did a two part interview with the Huffington Post that brought attention to the pervasive problem of eating disorders in figure skating. Kirk battled an eating disorder and is now in recovery, attending college and raising awareness about eating disorders. You can read more about her story by following the link above.

In her interview, Kirk said that based on her experience in the competitive, world class world of figure skating, nearly 85% of competitive figure skaters have eating disorders. That number is excruciatingly high. In spite of such discouraging statistics, the New York Times just wrote an article on ice dancer Tanith Belbin, an Olympic silver medalist (2006) who is currently competing in the Winter Olympics. Her story is a positive one that elicits hope and the possibility of change, and you don't always hear the uplifting side of some of these stories. For this reason, I want as many people to know about it as possible!

Belbin's story is one of disordered eating that put her at risk for losing her competitive edge on the ice due to her exceedingly thin stature. She was advised by her coach, Natalia Linichuk, to add some muscles and curves so that she would skate better. While the process was not always comfortable for her, Belbin learned to fuel her body and its needs in order to perform optimally at such an elite level. She is now at a healthier weight, and not only does she feel better physically, but her skating has benefitted immensely. Her ice dancing partner has even noticed that she is able to hold herself up better and has more strength. What I really love is that she states that she has become more adventurous and open to trying new things off the ice, like climbing. Belbin and her partner skate on Friday in the 2010 Olympics. To read more about her story, follow this link to read the NY Times article that was written on her this week.

Just as a quick aside, at the end of the article, Belbin says that the moral of the story is not that skaters need to necessarily seek out the professional help of nutritionists in order to eat right; she says instead that they should become educated about what is healthy and pursue this knowledge on their own. I think that for some, this can be effective; but for the majority, having a nutritionist is essential in becoming educated about portion sizes and what is appropriate and healthy. It is common for those with eating disorders to misjudge what they actually need, and not everyone can achieve health without additional support. If you know someone who needs support, don't be afraid to offer your help in finding what she/he needs!