Maybe the Grinch Was Depressed... ?

Merry late Christmas everyone! Better late than never, right? :) I have been so busy and wish I could have posted sooner, but again... better late than never!!

Even though this post has to do with the holidays, and Christmas is now 364 days away, I think that we are still on the heels of the holiday season. We still have to make it through that awkward week after Christmas/week before New Years- a time that is often used to reflect on the past year while pondering the new one. While we all have things to be thankful for, sometimes the holidays can be overwhelming and the thought of a new year can be daunting.

For this reason, and many others (family stress, financial stress, eating disorder/body image stress), the holidays are not an uncommon time for people to feel sad, grumpy, irritable, ... depressed! I came across an article about depression in which psychologist Cynthia Bulik uses the Grinch as an example of one who exhibits symptoms of depression. In this article (which is titled, Grinch Likely Depressed, Suffers From Lack of Love, Joy) she says, "Everybody's always down on the Grinch. But one of the things I've always asked myself is whether the Grinch himself might be feeling kind of down." She uses him as an example (and it's so cute) which helps to illustrate the different forms that depression can take. What is important to realize is that while often we associate depression with people who are sad, people that are depressed may exhibit little sadness and more irritability, general feelings of misery, and/or social withdrawal.

To read this article, and to find out more about depression, follow this link. And to read a great blog post on assessing depression written by one of my favorite therapist friends,Whitney, follow this link.

Brothers

I have been wanting to see the movie Brothers, so I finally went and saw it the other night! It's a powerful movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire that examines the effects (mostly psychological) of war on one's family and its impact on familial relationships. Because this is not Rotten Tomatoes, the movie review website :), I will refrain from giving you a play by play on the movie - but if you are interested, follow this link to read some reviews. The reason I bring up this movie is not because I just want to talk about the movie... Rather, I had an interesting observation as I watched it that got me thinking more about the way that men and women are portrayed in the media, specifically as it relates to body image.

In this movie, Toby Maguire plays a Marine who is held as a prisoner of war. He is tortured and starved. For the role, he had to lose a considerable amount of weight. I noticed that he looked significantly underweight throughout the movie, and my friend who I was with noticed this too. Well, when I got home, I wanted to read some reviews about the movie because 1) i'm kind of a nerd, but 2) it had a pretty powerful message and I was curious how other people had interpreted its meaning. In the process, I came across some interviews done by Maguire where he discussed how he was required to lose a substantial amount of weight for the role. He mentioned that he only had a couple of weeks to drop the weight, and while he did consult a nutritionist one time before he began his weight loss, he admitted that he used very unhealthy means to reach his goal.

I guess what struck me about this is the fact that a majority of Hollywood actresses are significantly underweight all the time, and for the most part, the media views this as 'normal.' While magazines may write stories about which actress used which diet to lose weight fast, you typically hear stories about women being praised for losing drastic amounts of weight, even if it is unhealthy. I think what this illustration demonstrates is that when a woman is underweight, it is not really newsworthy because it is sort of an expectation as the ideal standard of beauty, whereas when a man loses too much weight, it is recognized as unhealthy-- it is assumed that he will return to his normal, healthy weight once the filming for his movie has reached completion. Why is it that we can recognize unhealthy weight and disordered behaviors in men and fail to do so with women? Being silent communicates acceptance, so when an actress is too thin, is cast in movies and people rave about her beauty, it sends a message that she is beautiful and okay. This message is a dangerous one.

I guess the culmination of my thoughts on Tobey Maguire amounted to more confirmation of my desire to increase awareness of the ways in which the media can be confusing and tricky with their double standards and messages. I think it is important to be aware of these mixed messages so as to avoid buying into the values and deceptions in them. I have mentioned the organization About-Face before in another post (click here to read it). It's main goal is to promote health by helping women to resist damaging messages from the media about their bodies and self-esteem. I recommend checking it out! To access their website, follow this link. In the mean time, be discerning as you interact with culture and media, and do not be afraid to be critical about what you see and observe...

You'd Be So Pretty If....

The title of this blog post sounds a little terrible, right? I actually ripped off the title from the name of a book that I recently came across!! And for the record, the book is anything but terrible :). Dara Chadwick has written a book called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own, and she also writes a blog with the same title. She recently posted a few tips for modeling positive body image that I want to share because I think they are great. I would also like to point out that even if you are not a mother, or you are a mother and do not have daughters, this information is still really applicable. We may not have daughters (who are therefore influenced by the views we have of our own bodies), but we certainly impact the people in our lives (especially and specifically other women) based on the ways that we see ourselves. It is interesting to consider how learning to accept ourselves can actually help others to accept themselves as well.

So, while this may sound easier in theory than in practice (like a LOT of things!), here are five things that you can try (compliments of Dara Chadwick), that no matter how you feel about your body, may help you learn self-acceptance, as well as model it to others!

1: Silence the Critic. If you tend to say negative things about your body, criticize certain features you dislike or are not comfortable with, or make jokes about yourself, stop. Whenever you notice that you are doing this, stop yourself.

2: Act "as if." Imagine how you might feel or act differently if you were your ideal size or shape. Would you participate in different activities? Say hello to more people? Buy a certain style of clothing? If so, act out your feelings or engage in those activities and see if you notice a change in how you feel or how others respond to you. (Hint- you most likely will!)

3: Choose one thing. Focus on making one healthy choice each day- whether it is eating your breakfast, taking the stairs up one floor instead of the elevator, etc..

4: Be OK with change. Focus on being the healthiest, most content version of yourself that you can be. We all change as we get older, and as we go through different life experiences, our bodies change. Appreciating what our bodies do for us, considering the purposes that our arms/legs/hips/etc serve, and recognizing how functional they are can help us to accept our bodies/body parts rather than criticize them.

5: Find your own body image role models. Find women who model a healthy, positive attitude that you admire and respect. Maybe it's Scarlett Johansson, Kate Winslet, a friend who exudes confidence and charm, or a friend whose personal style you admire. By holding up a role model of unattainable perfection, we struggle to accept ourselves because we are never able to reach this ideal.

While change is often tough because it requires extra effort, energy, and a lot of extra thought, I believe it is worth it. It is worth it for us to accept ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, and to encourage other women (friends, sisters, daughters) to accept themselves as well. For more on Dara Chadwick, follow this link.

Join the Ralph Lauren Boycott~

One of the blogs that I follow is called Constance's Blog. Constance Rhodes is the founder of Finding Balance, which is a faith based non-profit that exists to create awareness about 'eating disorders not otherwise specified' (EDNOS, as it is often referred to) and disordered eating. For more information on her organization and website, follow this link and this link!

What I particularly enjoy about her blog is that various writers take turns blogging, and each have different backgrounds, struggles and perspectives, so the posts are always interesting as well as challenging. Today, Constance wrote about a time-sensitive boycott that is currently going on and I wanted to share her post with you so that you can participate in it if you would like.

You may or may not remember the recent hoopla in the media surrounding the model who was ridiculously photoshopped in a Ralph Lauren advertisement- the length of her head from ear to ear was wider than her waist!! Like most of you, I have seen the image and there are NO words to describe how awful it is! Darryl Roberts, who made a documentary called America the Beautiful (I've been meaning to post about him and his documentary!), has called for a boycott of Ralph Lauren. Why did he launch a boycott? This is what Constance blogged about today and I would encourage you to read it! You can read it by following this link. I have also copied and pasted it below for your convenience!

Hi friends. I know it’s been a long time since I posted and I have soooo much to tell you, but right now I want to ask you a personal favor.

If you care about the millions of women who are struggling with their body image, and if you believe that media images are a contributing factor to this problem, please go NOW to the ATB Boycott Ralph Lauren page on Facebook and add your name to the list.

If they can get 10,000 names by THIS FRIDAY, Dec 11, they can start a media blitz like we’ve never seen before.

The image below is what got it all started. Shocking, right? I mean, beyond just “skinny imaging.” It’s absurd. Normally we abstain from featuring potentially triggering imaging, but we can’t just bury our heads in the sand and ignore the absurdity of what we’re being told we must embrace as “fashion.”

It’s got to stop. And the guy who started the boycott (Darryl Roberts of “America The Beautiful” fame) is THE guy who can make it happen. But not without all of us.

You can make a difference by adding your name to the boycott.

Don’t plan to do it later. Do it now. And help start a revolution that has been a long time coming.

PS. AFTER you sign up, click to read the Huffington Post article about how Ralph bumped ATB off CNN to talk about the story. With 10,000 signatures we’ll get our shot yet!

The Body Image Project

Body image has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like no matter where I go, who I talk to, what I'm watching on TV or reading, it seems that I have been encountering a barrage of fat talk and concern over weight and bodies. Yes, I may be more aware and sensitive to such topics than the average person, as I do therapy with many women who have eating disorders. But my observations about body image lately are those that go well beyond my work. I have felt the intensity of the media's powerful communication of messages through images (and otherwise) and have really been at a loss. It seems that our culture is so saturated with the value of beauty = skinnyness, and it is difficult to avoid unless you hunker down and go live in a cave! How did we get here? That question has been occupying a lot of space in my thoughts recently.

Let me be the first to say that we ALL struggle with body image- no one is immune from waking up, putting on a pair of jeans and sometimes just not feeling great! It happens to all of us. But when our feelings about our bodies, and our looks, determine how we truly feel about ourselves and our worth, or they influence our moods and the course of our days, this is troubling territory that we enter into. Body image and weight are idols in our culture and in order not to be ruled by these idols, we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12!).

In my flurry of thoughts lately about body image, I have gotten stuck wondering why things are the way they are. That is probably a topic for another post :), but I decided that maybe a more productive question to ask is where we go from here. Certainly determining a course of action requires considering the previous path, but I wanted to shift the focus towards action. I have struggled and tried to brainstorm ways to begin to change the current tide- all well beyond my capabilities at this point. Sometimes the degree and depth of change that needs to happen feels so overwhelming, especially when approaching this issue from a big picture perspective! What I realized when I stepped back a little bit is that small changes can facilitate larger changes, and starting out small is important! I came across a great website this week: The Body Image Project. The goal of this organization is to "reframe body image and enable everyone, everywhere, to discover and celebrate the real you." It may sound a little cheesy.. But the momentum behind this movement speaks to the very nature of the issues I have raised. Small changes often help to facilitate larger changes, and reaching one person at a time is often how collective change ultimately happens. If we can each focus on working towards discovering and celebrating ourselves, as opposed to comparing ourselves to others, then perhaps this is a good place to start.

The Body Image Project can be accessed online by following this link. I would encourage you to take a look at some of the videos that they feature (access them here). Men and women have courageously shared their own body image tales to inspire and encourage you on your own journey to embracing you. The videos are definitely worth watching, and they add new ones each month. Below is a video that The Body Image Project has created that I encourage you all to watch as well- you can click on the Look at You//The Body Image Project to watch. Change begins with one person inspiring another, and that person inspiring another. If anything, maybe these videos or stories will inspire you to begin loving yourself or will inspire you to share this site with someone else who may benefit.

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.