On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

One thing that I have noticed is how intense 'fat talk' and 'diet talk' have gotten around this holiday season. Perhaps this is a result of the holidays becoming increasingly about food and the increasing obsession with the diets and dieting that is just part of our diet-crazed culture!! It just seems like there are more comments about food being made, who is eating or not eating what, who has gained weight and who has lost it, etc... The sad thing to me is that there are sooo many more interesting things to talk about!!! I was actually at a holiday party recently and someone (who probably doesn't read my blog-haha) was going around asking me and others how much we weigh (!!). A number is just a number, but if it's just a number and it doesn't mean anything, then why waste breath/energy/time talking about it? (I had fun with that question, by the way!!)

I heard someone say awhile ago that food should be neutral- like toothpaste. I'm still working out the analogy as to whether I think it's helpful :) But here is what I have so far- Do we have fears about toothpaste? No, not typically. Do we think about it much? No, not really. We do notice it when we're brushing our teeth, we notice that we like some kinds of toothpaste and dislike others... and we might also recognize the purpose that toothpaste serves... which is to clean our teeth! Granted, toothpaste is not food, and the analogy is not perfect but if we can strive to approach food mindfully, noticing what we like, noticing our hunger cues and honoring them, and working to meet our nutritional needs in order that we might have energy to live full lives (purpose!), then I think we are heading in a positive direction.

As you celebrate the holidays this year- and the days leading up to them, take some time to reflect on how you might respond to 'fat talk', 'diet talk' or conversations about weight and food that may not be healthy. Change starts with ourselves, so perhaps you can focus first on your own thoughts! For more on beating fat talk, follow this link, this one, or this one!

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. While I typically blog about eating disorders, body image and beauty, I sometimes like to take a minute to write about other things that are on my heart! And today, this is one of them.

Last night, I was talking to one of my best friends who lives in Chicago... we don't always have the best luck connecting via phone (she is a resident who works nights sometimes- think Grey's Anatomy) but when we do, we usually laugh a lot and have really good conversations about our lives. We share a passion for Africa, and she introduced me to vanilla chai (my favorite) at the first Student Global AIDS Campaign meeting we went to in college- thanks, Ali:). She is currently an OBGYN resident at Northwestern- and is one of the smartest, funnest girls I know. Well this past year, through a series of chaotic circumstances one night at work, she ended up getting stuck with an HIV infected needle. I was scared when she asked me to pray for her, but thankfully, the risk of contracting HIV this way is very low. Still, as small as the risk was, there was still a chance that she could be HIV positive... and that was scary! After several tests (and weeks of anti-retroviral drugs), her results came back negative. I was and still am so thankful that she is ok! (So is her husband!:))

In light of it being World AIDS Day, I was thinking about how lucky she was to have access to ARV drugs. These drugs are expensive and not everyone has access to them. The theme this year for World AIDS Day 2010 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights.' Human rights violations (sex trade and trafficking) fuel the incidence of HIV. The focus this year is on protecting human rights while also working to provide better prevention efforts globally as a means of cutting the occurrence of transmission. Take some time today to think about your health, your body, your rights as a person, and consider how you might help someone who isn't as fortunate to have what you do. To learn more about World AIDS Day, and ways that you can get involved, follow this link.

On Giving Thanks...

I can't even believe it is this time of year again... Thanksgiving!! Time flies!! In light of Thanksgiving being very much a 'food' holiday (something that can be anxiety provoking for those who struggle with food), one thing that I think can be helpful is to go back to the basics of what Thanksgiving is truly about! Soo, I asked cha cha where Thanksgiving originated (just kidding!!). No but really, Thanksgiving marks a time when the pilgrims voyaged to America. After a tough year, in which more than a third of those who had come over on the Mayflower died, there had been a very plentiful harvest and so, they commemorated their blessings with a feast. I think along the way, Thanksgiving took on some cultural adaptations- you know, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving:), but specifically the kinds of food that we consider to be traditional Thanksgiving food (the pilgrims ate more of a traditional English meal).

Anyways, the point is that the pilgrims were celebrating their blessings after a tough year. And while all of us have had different kinds of years- some good, some tough, some both- I think that no matter what our days, weeks, months and year have been like, it is good to set aside time to be thankful!! There is always something to be thankful for : ) This year has been a year of change for me with going out on my own in private practice. And I am so thankful for all that this change and this year have brought. I am thankful for health, family, a job that I love, and people in my life that I love. I am thankful that I woke up this morning, I am thankful that there is a roof over my head, I am thankful that my body functions as it was created to. I am thankful for Peace that surpasses all understanding, I am thankful for sunshine, I am thankful for the hope that I have in days to come. : )

What are you thankful for this year??

How Far Does the Thin Ideal Extend??

According to a recent study published, preschool aged girls- as young as 3!!- indicate a preference towards thinness. How is that even possible??! I was actually skeptical when I saw this headline! But as I read this study (here!), it all started sounding way too believable. I obviously get that media has an impact upon how we define beauty, and I also am all too familiar with the ways in which modeling can influence us. I'm not talking about supermodels walking the runway... but about behaviors and attitudes that we pick up on by observing those around us. Anyways, in this study, the researchers tried to determine the childrens attitudes about weight by watching them choose game pieces (for board games like Candyland- my favorite!) that they had specifically constructed- a thin girl, an average girl, and an overweight girl. They watched the girls choose the pieces and interact with them, and asked them about the pieces as well. While it is very difficult to study body issues and perceptions in 3 year olds, there were some pretty strong reactions among the children to the game pieces. Some of them were very reluctant to play the game using the overweight girl game piece, and the majority would have rather been the average girl if they could not be the thin girl. To read more of the findings regarding the study, follow the link above- or here!

So what can we do in the face of some discouraging news about innocent little girls picking up on the thin ideal at the age of 3 years old?! Well, I think that regardless of whether or not we have children, nieces/nephews, interact with children daily, etc.. there are things that we can do. First, emphasize health over weight. Helping children (and ourselves, really!) to place the focus on our bodies being strong and able to engage in activities that we enjoy takes the focus off of a number. Second, avoid fat talk! What is fat talk?? Anything that reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies. ("I look SO fat in this!" "Oh, wow, you look great, have you lost weight?" "I need to lose ten pounds" "She's too fat to be wearing that") I have written a lot about fat talk before- check out this link or this one for more info! Lastly, if you do have children or if you are ever around kids, encourage and affirm them for who they are- their personalities, their character traits, positive things that they have done, their interests- rather than how they look! This extends to us grown-ups as well:) I think that if we can start to redefine beauty (and the thin ideal) by focusing on beauty as more than just our looks (by focusing on our hearts, our minds, our faith), then we might begin to know our true worth and value.